Have a little bit of free time this weekend and this coming week as finals are now up and coming, so I thought I'd take this chance to update and let you guys in on my life. Of course that is assuming people actually read my ramblings:) But even if they don't, I enjoy writing out my thoughts though don't really use this as my only outlet for those thoughts. Sometimes they're a little too personal for this..I mean, everyone can read this..some thoughts just need to be put in a journal. For the time being though, these ones aren't anything that need to be secret. Plymouth finally got in touch with me and apparently I've been accepted for admission to the university for the spring. I'm not as excited as I thought I'd be, not gonna lie...for one, it's so late that I really don't have time to make a good decision about it. Secondly, I'm not sure if I should leave now. The classes that I need for the spring, I've signed up for and got overrides for here and Plymouth hasn't told me what credits will transfer or if I could even get into classes for the CJ program. The department head told me that there are some reserved spots for transfers, but it makes me nervous. Of course, I'm being told that I shouldn't leave and that it won't be better at Plymouth and money doesn't really matter...it's not just the money though..it's a part obviously, but I miss NH and New England. I miss my family and seeing the kids. It's like I'm here and stuff but don't quite belong...not out of place but not really in place either. I don't know how to explain it. Should I just accept the fact that I'll be really in debt and that I'll pay it off once I'm out and get a job? I'm just not sure if there's a way to have less debt staying here. Maybe I just don't see it but the only thing I can think of would be getting an apartment, but then I'd have to have a car unless it was near or on campus. I'm just not sure anymore...I feel lost and tired. Tired of school and worrying..tired of dealing with people's problems and issues, of friends who only want to hang out when it's convenient for them, of sleeping alone and tired of the weather. I want to be able to go on a trip somewhere warm for a month or really anywhere for a month. My parents just don't understand and didn't understand when I said I wanted a break..that going to school part time was what I wanted cause I'm tired. They just thought that of insurance and money and that it would take me longer to get through school...they probably figure that if I stop, I won't go back and that really isn't the case. I want my degree, but I'm not enjoying it and I want to enjoy getting my degree...I want to enjoy my time here. And I have..it hasn't been this horrible experience, but I'm getting burned out. Hopefully this break for Christmas will help some and energize me for next semester. Cause seriously, I'm not even excited for those classes and normally I am. Guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

I wanna go..let me go home...it's a great song, but it makes me really miss home. Granted, I get to go home next week, but still. It's hard to believe it's actually coming up next week:D Seriously, I can't wait. A change of place and scene is going to be good for me I think or well...it could go the other way and make me not want to leave. We'll just have to wait and see...and I still don't know what's going on with Plymouth. I've tried calling them and there is never anyone to pick up the phone in Admissions. It's pretty annoying since I really need to know before I leave what the verdict is. Mom was saying that if it's God's will, it'll happen and that's true, but that doesn't make waiting any easier. If I knew what was going on, I could tell my friends, okay I'm leaving..we need to hang out before I do so cause I'm not coming back. Now, it's like well I might be coming back, so yeah..we'll have to play things by ear. It's annoying as hell. Maybe I'll try calling again...

The end of the semester is coming up so quickly..I can't believe it. I'm ready for it though. Rest and relaxation without having to worry about homework or school will be so nice for three weeks. Actually, it probably won't be enough but it'll give me something at least. I'm flying out so it won't take me long to get there, which will be a nice change. I don't mind the train, but it's a long trip. So anyways, there's isn't much going on..I just wanted to update real quick. Hope all's well.